Showing Up for Ourselves and Why it Matters
From very early childhood, my need for external validation was slowly sucking away all the energy I had in me. The more I did not receive, the more I yearned for it… every achievement, every effort, begged for recognition: Validate me, I’m working so hard!!
One part of my healing journey has been cultivating a strong sense of self-love, inner support, and proactive steps to support my mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. In this blog post, I will chit chat about why showing up for ourselves is important and how to practice it.
Showing up for ourselves matters.
When we are constantly seeking external validation, we risk feeling dependent on others, disappointed when we don’t hear what we had hoped to, and insecure about ourselves. Constantly seeking approval or affirmation from others will not provide true fulfilment or happiness. It comes from a deep sense of self-worth and inner support. By learning to validate ourselves and showing up for ourselves, we can be empowered to live everyday more authentically.
How to show up for ourselves
Speak to yourself as you would want others to speak to you – Be gentle, be forgiving, be kind.
“I’ve worked really hard, and it’s shows.”
“I appreciate myself for giving it my best shot.”
“I know I’ve got this.”
“What I’m doing is valuable and important.”
“Next time, I’ll try things differently.”
Be self-aware. Write down your thoughts – the anxious, scrambled, negative, positive, sure, unsure, complete, and the incomplete thoughts – all of them. The point is not to immediately find a solution or gain clarity. Write your thoughts down often and revisit them when you are in a better headspace. This way, you will be able to see patterns in thoughts and behaviours. Then you can decide for yourselves the types of changes that you want to make.
Perhaps you have a pattern of reacting before processing. Once you notice this, the next time you feel an overwhelming reaction bubbling up, you can pause and remind yourself that this is just an initial reaction and that you need time to process.
Perfectionism is not the end goal and mistakes are not the end of the world – remind yourself that. You learn the best lessons from mistakes. Mistakes and miscalculations are going to happen no matter how much control you try to exert over a situation. Sometimes mistakes lead to being more creative in your approach, and isn’t that a beautiful win?
Know that hard work pays off, be patient and persistent - results are not immediate. Oftentimes you don’t notice the change or progress you’ve made until you take time to reflect.
For example, when we finish a project we have been working on for months, it's exciting, it makes us feel proud, we think “I did that!” But all those months leading up to the completion, we feel a “this is never going to end” type of vibe. We think about the long hours we put into the project and how much energy the it demands of you. But at the finish line, we almost always feel like it was all worth it. And if not? You never have to do it again.
Being our own cheerleader, validating, and affirming ourselves does not mean having to be hyper individual - community matters. Once you start showing up for yourself, you will attract all sorts of positive energy from others and the universe. 🟉
